Word of the last two days: dark. No, I am not emo. But it has been ridiculously foggy and four hours of yesterday I was "blind".

Fog makes me moody.

Being blind yesterday was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. Number one emotion: fear. I had to constantly trust that Molly or Laura would take care of me when they were walking me around campus. But taking a shower blind is ridiculous. And any time that they weren't around, someone could easily come up to me and do something. There were times when I knew someone was standing in front of me (like my evil roommate), but I had no idea who they were or what they were planning to do and I had no way to defend myself. And, I ate half my food at lunch with my hands becuase I got tired of coming up with an empty fork.

Less than five minutes after I took the blindfold off, I found out I got a C on my Doctrine Midterm. >_<

My counselor says that I have much improved over the last couple months and gotten stronger. That was very encouraging.

Don't intentionally try to have a Bible study in the great hall with only an Ipod touch as the Bible. I didn't understand half of the scripture that was read because I couldn't hear it and was somewhat distracted by a cute boy at the sandwich bar. Darn it, attractive males!

So there are times when I'm really good at doing homework and there are times when I'm not. Yesterday was one of those times when I'm not. The only reason I finished a rough draft and began another was because I spent five hours working on them! The day before, I finished a whole paper in two hours. Darn youtube and facebook and Beyonce! Darn you to heck!

That, and sometimes I get into a really crazy mood and go all ADHD.

This morning, I enjoyed waking up. How strange. I worked on a paper first thing. How strange. I ate cookie crisp for breakfast. How wonderful.

I'm reading New Moon again and my roommate needs to quit making fun of me.

Greasy sightings today: one. I am just very surprised that he hasn't tried to contact me anymore after asking me to dinner two days ago, and it's annoying constantly being on my toes in case he does. It's also annoying having an adrenaline rush every time I see someone in gym clothes, a gangster hat, or a backpack. Why does he have to be here??

Scripture of the day: Psalm 34:1

Another thought that came to mind today: Why did I fall in love with him? I have had so many people ask me this question, and now I'm having a hard time answering it for myself. I don't even really remember what it felt like to love him. All I remember is that it made me feel safe, secure, and wanted. He was the one person I felt like I could trust most in the world. But, looking back at it, it seems absolutely absurd. I enjoy my life so much now, constantly being around people who like me and appreciate me and whom I can trust, that it seems silly how much I depended on that boy who I really didn't have that much in common with. And now, he the one person in the world that can make me angry just by entering my thoughts. I'm honestly wondering how long it's going to take his girlfriend to figure out that he's been going behind her back for months, trying to get me to still have feelings for him so that he can run back to me when things don't work out between them.

On a lighter note, during TIPS class I thought about how pleasant it would be to have my own puppy.

Song of the day: Whatcha Say