Sometimes I ask for dumb things.

I will begin this blog post with one line that may be used in the future as an I-told-you-so: 

Other than being a doctor and having to touch blood, I have chosen one of the most difficult vocations anyone could ever ever ever choose. 

And I MEAN IT.
Student teaching is HARD.

Both ends of my emotional spectrum have been pushed out to the max by a group of fifty-something fourth graders in a span of only six weeks. I laugh, I cry, I squeal with joy, and I imagine beating a small animal over the head with a dictionary all at once! {That may be a bit overdramatic, but you catch my drift.} YIKES.

My school is a wonderfully tight-knit community, small and familial. However, as a rural school, it is bursting through the seams with children from broken, broken homes, which hits this big-hearted girl like a ton of bricks. In Uganda I taught classrooms full of AIDS orphans. You would think, after  that, I'd have a tougher heart. But after listening to story after story after story of parents who don't want their children, parents who are in jail, parents who care more for drugs than their own flesh and blood, I can't help but want to take all these children up in my arms and say, "I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND FIX YOU AND BE A PARENT WHO WANTS YOU!!!!" These are the kids who act out in class to get the attention they miss at home, who don't try because they don't believe they can, and who keep their emotions inside for fear of getting hurt. These are the children God has attached to my heartstrings like ten-pound weights at the end of a balloon.

These kids come through my room in three groups throughout the day. Because of them, I've been eating, sleeping, and breathing the Revolutionary War in order to teach them as best I can. And they've caught the same fascination for it that I have, which is AWESOME. There is NOTHING better than seeing a kid get excited about learning. Unfortunately, in order to teach it well, I've spent more time on it than I would have in a normal classroom. I realize that, in real life, I won't be able to get this in-depth and meaningful with the Social Studies if I expect to keep up with the standards. UGGGGHHHH. I've decided to build a treehouse school where kids can come have fun and learning will be meaningful and AWESOME instead of all this testing-and-products junk. 

All this along with a gut dysfunction that's related to stress. Mmm mmm mmm. 

I can't say I didn't ask for a hard experience--I did. And I'm learning loads more than I would in an easier placement. I tear up at the thought of leaving these kids next week for a new placement because I'm just  getting to know them. 

But that's life. And Jesus loves me. The end.