A Bum-derful Holiday

Did you know....?
-that Reese's makes bell-shaped candy too?? (Weird.)
-that my bed is covered in filth, except for the patch on which I sleep?
-that Japanese food is still good the seventh time around? (..excuse me, my brain said "second" and my fingers typed "seventh". I'd throw that stuff out before the seventh time)
-that if you opened my stomach right now, you would only find Japanese food and sugar (along with the alien implants)
-that it's actually Saturday, even though my body says it's Friday?
-that I would really like to have a treehouse?
-that Christmas is the day Santa was born? <--that's a total lie.

Song of the day: Mary Did You Know? (inspired by the above paragraph)
Actual song of the day: White Christmas
Song I'm listening to right now: Christmas Don't Be Late by Alvin and the Chipmunks. Don't worry, it came right on time.

This week I was a total BUM. Bum, bum, bum. It was glorious. Most of my time was spent reading books I wanted to read, eating, wearing pajamas, and making a clay nativity for mom. In my spare time, I took Daniel cologne shopping (I'm afraid that this may become a yearly tradition), went to the bank, read Christmas stories to Audrey in a Russian accent, made cookies, and spent time with three friends.

Spending time with one of these friends in particular was very special--necessary, even. After thirteen years of friendship, we were due for a disagreement...and in September, conflict rushed in like a bad thunderstorm. We didn't talk for months after that and it was a constant shadow looming in the back of my mind. Then, on Christmas Eve, we finally took the plunge--that awful, terrible confrontation conversation that nobody on earth really likes--and after half and hour or so, the tension disappeared like it had never been there in the first place. It was amazing. Everything returned to the way it should be, and that evening I found myself sitting in their family living room opening little Christmas presents like I had on Christmas Eves before. I think this was the best kind of Christmas present I could have asked for.

Hurray!

Alright, now let's talk about actual Christmas Day. I get fascinated by other people's Christmas morning traditions, which are all pretty much the same as well as completely different. They go like this: everyone wakes up, some meaningful things are said, someone is "Santa" and hands out presents to everyone, and turns are taken so that it makes a kind of show. (and if you don't open your present with enthusiasm, everyone will stare daggers at you!) Then, when presents are open, everyone eats something delicious for breakfast. After that, there's a lot of hanging out.

WELL. This morning I was not woken up by pretty Christmas music, as per usual. Instead, my sister threw open my door (BEFORE nine o' clock) and huffed "Get up," before turning around and leaving me alone to figure out what day it was. I squinted at the clock, brushed my hair, tripped down the stairs, got some eggnog, and sat down on the couch. Then we had a family Christmas devotional with my ever-enthusiastic mother for about half an hour and even sang some carols (which sounded a bit croaky). Then puffy-faced, just-had-her-wisdom-teeth-out-and-is-a-total-grouch-because-of-it Audrey acted as Santa. And, as usual, I got what I asked for, with the added bonus of Baby Bottle Pops and Reese's bells. After that--yup, you guessed it--special breakfast with once-a-year sausageballs. Nothing much happened after that until lunch, when we had Japanese hibachi, a Christmas tradition because mom doesn't want to cook and the Japanese places are the only ones open on Christmas. The rest of the day was spent watching movies and eating food. BUMMING.

Oh yeah, and for once we actually had a decent snow on Christmas. It was perfect!

It was a lovely, bum-derful day. Now I am preparing to be afflicted with post-Christmas blues. Farewell, Nat King Cole. I'll miss you.

I'm Tired of Being Sick.

Well, that's a lovely title, isn't it?

I'll explain myself. Remember when I mentioned the alien implant that has been acting up over the last month? Well, it seems to have this nasty habit of not leaving. Last weekend, it was popping up a little here and there until I felt like death on Sunday night (at my pastor's house, no less...we'll talk about that later...) Nurse Barb gave me medicine on Monday that helped straighten things out  for a few days--not completely, but mostly--and I went home thinking I was getting better. Hooray, hoorah, I woke up yesterday going crap. Not literally--well, kind of--*uhm*--what I mean is that I was not feeling well. My first reaction was to call downstairs to my doctor father, "Oh father, I am feeling unwell," (that was paraphrased) and within an hour he brought me LOTS of medicine and a plethora of soup cans from Walmart. Now, the next evening, I am finally feeling almost all the way better.

Theories:
-Alien abduction.
-Satan thinks I'm fat and put me on his weight loss program.
-Immaculate conception ('tis the season, after all).
-I am slowly turning into a werewolf. Next month, I will sprout hair...everywhere.
-My belly is jealous for attention.
-I'm becoming Mrs. Claus. Transformation will be complete on Christmas Eve!

 Time to change the subject. What happened at your pastor's house?!?! is now everyone wants to know. Here's what happened. I decided to go to my church's Christmas concert on the night it was destined to snow something awful. This left me stranded down the mountain, so I stayed with my friend, the pastor's daughter--which means I stayed at my pastor's house. Then the three of us watched a movie together, and she conveniently left right before the--er--dirty part of the movie. So I was left watching this couple get it on onscreen while sitting next to my pastor.

....

Then I got sick.

Anyway, Wednesday night was interesting. Lisa, Kait, and I decided to walk back after dinner around 6:30. Walking soon turned into sliding and I was suddenly wishing that I'd asked for ice skates for Christmas. Ice was pouring from the sky and the ground was like glass. It was the first time I've ever had frozen hair, making it slightly more awesome than terrifying.

I learned a lesson on Thursday that I would like to share with everyone: a good night's sleep is necessary to your survival. Got it? I only got five hours of sleep on Wednesday night (the ice was too fascinating to let me sleep) and I was sure I was going to wreck on Thursday when I drove home. It was raining, I thought the car was rocking back and forth, every semi truck wanted to eat me, and the spray off of other vehicles was blinding. On top of this, I was feeling slightly sick and my brain was going ".............."

But God thought I needed to live longer, so both Beulah and I are both here, unharmed. I think.

I was going to go ice skating today. I've wanted to go ice skating for a year. My belly said, "Not so fast, young one!" Therefore, I spent the afternoon reading my favorite book ever, ever, ever, ever....Ella Enchanted. This may be the sixth or seventh time I've read it, yet it never disappoints. It's cute, it's funny, it's substantial. I get emotionally tied up in it, burning with full-on hatred for Hattie, the evil stepsister, and falling head-over-heels in love with Char, the prince (who isn't real, I know. It's a problem.) It's an intelligent spin-off of Cinderella and, being a princess myself, I have to love it.

Did you know that Justin Bieber has three cds, and each has the words "My World" in the title? I know this because my sister just gave me "My Worlds Acoustic". There's no apostrophe in the title on purpose, I might add. It's a mixture of songs from the first two cds: "My World" and "My World 2.0", which makes for "My Worlds". This kid is more narcissistic than I am! I LOVE IT!

Now, two pictures I like. Number one: Lauramunch, Lisamunch, Fuzzymunch, and shower safety Brian Peppers.

Number two: Uno Stacko is one of the best, most nerve-racking games ever.

......What's that, belly? You say it's bedtime? Ok, that sounds good. Can I go see one of my friends tomorrow? Pleasepleaseplease?? ...We'll see? You'll get back to me in the morning? *huff* FINE.

Snow and Lisa Claus

I hate snow. 

No, let me rephrase that. I actually like snow when I'm planning to stay inside to look at it, or when I have my ski pants and boots ready to go outside in it for about fifteen minutes. Newsflash, folks: snow is COLD. When I get cold, my skin dries right up and turns purple like a raisin. It's not cool.  (ha--I just made a joke--snow isn't cool, it's cold...)

Here's something else I'm not a fan of: a sick stomach. The worst was after the Harry Potter premier (see "Alone in a Bathroom"), but I was sick again last weekend and then this weekend it's been sporadic. My roommate thinks it's all in my head. I think that aliens abducted me an put some funky implants in me. Soon fireworks will start shooting out of my belly and I'll be a superhero. 

However, the alien implants couldn't stop me from going to see Tangled last weekend. My thoughts? I'm obsessed. The sickness made me miss the best part of the climax, but that gives me an excuse to go back.

The other night I babysat until about 9:45, and when I returned everyone was gone. Well, I moped about in my loneliness until about midnight, but right as I was going to bed the door burst open. (oohh!!! Santa?!!?! ....NO. BETTER THAN SANTA.) My roommate came in and threw something at me. I looked down at my lap and what sight did I behold? A DISNEY PRINCESS BED TENT. MY ROOMMATE IS THE BEST SANTA EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. We assembled the tent and were up til 2 making shadow puppets. 

My journal that day said, "This is stupendous." 

I think my bed tent may be my favorite thing in the whole world right now. 

On Friday I had to do a sociology project. Oh, I know what you're thinking. Sociology projects are the pits. Well, my friend, THIS sociology project was the bee's knees. Poor Laura and her assignment partner had to go downtown and eat donuts. Not just any donuts, mind you. A chocolate peppermint bark donut from Krispy Kreme and a key lime donut from Julie Darlin' Donuts--- "Making Chattanooga a sweeter place to be." I don't mind doing some free advertisement for Julie Darlin'. That place was the cat's meow. 

Yesterday was cleaning day, a day that sounds worse than snow (even snow!) but is actually one of my favorite days of the semester. Lisa and I got up, turned on some Christmas music, and went to work. To make things more intense, we spoke to one another in Russian accents and called each other Helga and Greta. We even did pull-ups underneath the clean beds for added intensity. And no need for mops! Helga and Greta use the power in their muscular feet to clean the floor with wet rags. My roommate made me laugh so hard I almost wanted to pee my pants--but didn't, because that would be counter-productive to cleaning day. 

Christmas is a time for lovers to hold one another tightly and stay safe from the cold (and snow. stupid snow.)You know what that means? Tis' the season for my snuggie. 

It's still snowing. I hate snow. 

The Caramel Brulee Latte is the Best Drink at Starbucks.

And I'm not going to write any more about it.

I have 33 minutes before I have to be somewhere and I just reached a stopping point in my intercultural experience paper. Obviously, I can't just pick up and start working on it again with only 33 minutes left. What to do with the awkward leftover time? AHA!

This week has been strange and out-of-sync. Monday felt like Friday. Tuesday felt like Monday. Wednesday felt like Friday. Thursday felt like Tuesday. And Friday felt like...um...Friday. Anyway.

It's time to get in the Christmas spirit and I'm working on it slowly but surely. No, not surely. Just kind of. And slowly. Snow would help.

I FINISHED DEWEY ON MONDAY. <--Biggest accomplishment of the week.

That means that on Tuesday, I spent the entire evening reading The Last Song, or as I call it, One of the Cheesiest Books I've Ever Read But Couldn't Stop Reading. Nicholas Sparks words his sentences in a way that annoys me and includes phrases such as "wouldn't trade this for the world" and "loved more than life itself". Ho boy. This is why I would rather write children's books. Then I can include phrases such as "SUPER AWESOME" and "the moose soared twenty feet in the air" and "then Fuzzymunch bought a cool pirate hook and said 'Argh! I be Cap'n Munch!" <--sounds like Cap'n Crunch.

Speaking of pirate hook, last night I went to a party for the Andreas building leaders. Guess what I got in the white elephant gift exchange. And guess who didn't win the sweater contest. (It's ok. Really. Ila deserved it. Really.)

After the party, I went to The Blink and spent 2/3 of my Blink money. 5 bottled drinks, 10 packs of poptarts, 2 twix bars, 2 bags of trail mix, 3 special k bars, and 3 bags of sun chips. I'm almost all stocked up for finals.

Now I have a 15-page paper due on Tuesday that I just started on today. That's because, when I'm a big girl teacher one day, I'm going to have to know how to be prepared for everything in advance.

My roommate's gone this weekend, but I'm handling it better than usual. Why is this? Because I have a 15-page paper to write, her bed makes a convenient shelf, and I can play really loud Christmas music in the morning. (Hard at work on my Christmas spirit!)

In fact, I think I've found my defining song of the season: Santa Baby. I'd like the deed to a platinum mine, a yacht, maybe a ring (and I don't mean on the phone)....