Word of the day: pictures. I took a lot of them.

I should be in bed right now. I'm super tired.

School should be done now. I don't want to do any more papers, I don't know if I have the willpower to do anything else. Like for real. I was looking at all the work I have between now and Christmas, and it makes me just wanna jump off the veranda. Don't worry, I won't.

Yesterday I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:15. That's not an hour, but it's a nasty time to be awake. Why did I do this? Field placement at Siskin Institute. They have the most rock awesome playground EVER. And the kids were adorable. We observed a four year old blind girl named Britney, and she was precious and sad. She didn't speak, and I think she was autistic. And she shuffled around in circles a lot. But she had a real great halloween dress on.

Christina and I are study fails. We tried, and ended up eating chocolate. Thanks Christina.

Mac Movie Night = Friggin hilarious. Twilight parody, yeah, I wanted to pee my pants.

I was so disoriented last night it took nothing for me to go to sleep. I could barely speak coherently.

I didn't get as much homework done today as I wanted to, as usual. But I took a lot of great pictures. And talked to my Mimi. And found a new favorite song. And found my Halloween costume.

Camille J. Hallstrom is going to be the death of me. I'm super nervous about this performance project, and I can't even practice it well. I don't know if my scenes are even good! AAAAAHHH!!!

We went to Walmart, and I bought food and socks. Yay me.

Greasy's latest facebook pictures make him look like a creepy, obese blue creeper. You should go check 'em out. And he's trying to bring in the new fall trend--sweatpants! Too bad it means wasting the pair of jeans I bought him last Christmas--epic fashion fail!

Why did I spend over $200 on him last Christmas? WHY???

Lesson to all women: do not spend a lot of money on a male until he buys you an engagement ring. I could be buying more boxes of cereal, but no, I had to spend them on ninja turtle slippers for him. Eww.

But, two days ago he joined my fanpage on facebook. Yes, my creepy ex is my fan. Why is this soo hilarious?

Song of the day: Replay.

Dear Blog,
I am sorry I have left you so lonely. I know you've missed me. But I love you, I hope you always know this.
Signed,
Laura

Word of the day: Pumkin Muffies. Also known as a food I would like to eat all the time.

Yesterday, my kindergartners gave me two Christmas rice krispie treats because it was Gardner's birthday (yeah, that's a real kid's name). Then my Teaching Exceptional Children prof gave me a bag of candy. Then Lisa and Alyssa and I had a pumpkin muffie party, and had at least ten of the little suckers each. I am convinced that everyone everywhere just really wants me to get fat.

The ladies in my Sunday School class are ridiculously precious. The one sitting next to me (I believe her name was Jane) just whispered back and forth with me about things she had written in her book, which she shared with me. And another one of the ladies was joking about her 80th birthday coming back. Last time I was there, she said (as she slumped down in her chair and got-wide eyed), "Oh my gosh. I'm going to be eighty in two weeks!" Umm, yeah. I want them to adopt me so I can go to their precious houses and bake cookies with them.

I got to be a mermaid on Saturday! My aunt and two little cousins, Jenny and Rachel, came to Chatty for a visit and we went to the aquarium. I've been like four times in the last year, but going with them was my favorite. They were excited about so many things, and I got to make them laugh. And, during the last part--the sea cave--we pretended we were mermaids. YES. And, right before that, while Rachel and I waited for her mom and Jenny to go to the bathroom, we went into the jellyfish room and pretended to be jellyfish. Awkwardly enough, however, all the turtles seemed to be getting frisky with one another....

So, I've really been getting into Psalm 34 lately. I tried to memorize it over the summer, but kids are very distracting, so I'm trying again now. It's reminding me of the importance of PERSISTENCE in prayer, and learning to lean on God--He's got it. He's big enough, he knows what He's doing. And I need to chill out, because in the long run, His will will be accomplished. And that's really cool. So far, I'm on verse 9.

Here I am inserting Molly, cuz she just asked if I was blogging about her. I AM NOW! You are sucking a lollipop and listening to piano music and putting up pictures on facebook. You're a dork!

Sunday was gorgeous, so I just had to go to the woods. And it was ooooober pretty! I think half of the students in Founders thought so too, because the woods were way too crowded. I ended up going off the trail just so I could feel alone. I took my Bible, journal, and internship application. Oh yeah, and my camera. I was super stoked about taking pictures. I think I'm turning into my dad.

I really, really want to be a missionary. I mean, my desire just gets bigger and bigger. I'm super stoked about this internship, and I really hope that's God's will for me this summer. I don't really know how teaching would fit into a future career in missions, though. I don't want to teach as a missionary kids school, because I feel like it's too exclusive. But I don't want to teach English at a university either. Soooo....we'll see. I got a couple years. And maybe a husband to figure that out with later. Maybe. We'll see. But not for now. I like being single too much :)

I slept a lot today. And that made me so happy.

So...Greasy is a creeper. I was sitting with my friends today in lunch, and he went all the way around the front of our booth and sat at an empty table right next to us so that he was directly in my line of vision and could hear everything we were saying. It was only SLIGHTLY obvious he wanted my attention. But I'm getting really good at not letting it bother me so much...and, I'm not the one failing my classes >:)

My grandmother sent me a shirt and popcorn today. The shirt is interesting, but I will for sure be using the popcooorn!

Our hall had a Star Wars party on Sunday night. A lot of nerds live on my hall. And I love it.

Actually, I just have a lot of really good friends here. And I love my school. Except for the ridiculous amount of homework all the time.

Grace is coming on Friday!

Song of the day: Sonata for Violin and Piano No. 10 in G major (The Cock Crow) by Beethoven. In other words, the song that Molly has playing on Pandora right now.

Word of the day: curly. That's what my hair looked like.

Today, my kindergartners put up a fit about paper ice cream scoops. When they got twenty for reading, they were given a "ceremony" and got a coupon for free Clumpie's ice cream. Well, three students hit twenty today and they were super excited. Therefore, the rest of the children in the classroom forced me to count and recount their scoops, and, when they finally accepted the fact that they didn't have twenty, went back to their seats and moped. And it was Rebecca's birthday, so we got Halloween mini-cupcakes :)

I've been ridiculously tired all day. And I don't get a break tomorrow either.

The only reason I go to Doctrine anymore is because of Molly Wilkes. We write notes to each other, draw pictures to each other, and text each other. And she sits next to me. I love it. Today, we learned about Neandertals...aka NeanderTALLS.

Acting is the strangest class ever. In the history of ever. We did relaxation exercises today and had to massage each other. Highlight of the afternoon: we were lying on the stage, and Hallstrom told us to start speaking lines at the ceiling--any lines. I started reciting Jabberwocky, and soon I heard two or three other people were reciting it too. Jacob was in unison with me. Um, I love that poem.

I like peanut butter spoons.

I love Glee.

HOEDOWN. AWESOME. I would have a hoedown every day of my life if I could. Ok, maybe not everyday, but a lot more than I do, which is pretty much never. It was First Friends, a thing to get us plugged in with internationals, mostly UTC students. And I met lots of cool people. I talked to a lady from Taiwan about wanting to go into missions, and how she became a Christian only four years ago after coming to the states. Her husband hasn't yet, though, but he comes to church with her and was there tonight. And there was a GORGEO---well, we won't go into that, he was taken anyway...but I danced with---well, he was taken too....but I still had a ridiculous amount of fun....

And, to top it all off, I did not have a single Greasy encounter today! On the flip side, however, is that I am always on my toes, because anything that happens always happens when I let my guard down and then I get all ruffled again. I've been frustrated for the last two days...I just wanna let a nalgene fly on his head...

Verse of the day: Psalm 34:4

Song of the day: Cotton-Eyed Joe. And the Hoedown Throwdown.

There is no word of the day today.

I did not set an alarm this morning.

My cat brought a live bird into the house and my mother screamed like she was about to die.

I am a terrible packer.

I ate the last pumpkin mini muffin and was sad.

I hate only being able to listen to the radio in my car.

Dinner was confusing because no one was here, but delicious because there were chicken fingers.

We couldn't tell the difference between salad dressing and jelly. Ew.

I am more productive at home than I am here.

I put more disney princess pictures on my closet.

Everyone got back and gave me bad-for-you food.

I decided to start going to young life.

I really want to go to a dance in a pretty dress like the twins and Nicole.

I wanna be in a musical.

I miss Morgan and my house.

Homework is dispicable.

Song of the day: Fatman Stomp. Or should I say fatwoman?

Word of the day: aww. Probably because I said it so much
2nd word of the day: hmm....

I always think more when I'm at home.

I walked all the way from the auto place to Books-a-million today without being hit by a car!

I read three acts of the Crucible, and it was quite disturbing. That was the first thing that got me thinking. Abigail Williams is the most manipulative and scary person I've ever read about. This play just makes you want to smack everyone in it. Sadly, it's way too close to true humanity.

I bought yarn and knitting needles today :)

I washed my dog for the first time in years. It was nasty gross. No, I didn't clean out the wound. She was just covered in nasty greasy dirt stuff. I don't know what it was and really don't want to.

I think I smelled everything in bath and body works today and tried half of it. My hands have felt funny since.

Where the Wild Things are is the most interesting movie I've seen in a while. I can't really classify it. Basically, it gave adult lessons through the eyes of a child in his imaginary world. Very interesting. There are so many undertones in there....but I'm not a movie critic, so I don't feel like critiqueing it...

Meet Joe Black....a movie that really did make me think. First thought: Brad Pitt....mmm....After that, I just thought about death. Yeah, real fun. I just wondered--what would it feel like to know that you were taking away people's lives when they still had so much potential? What would it be like to give up the person you loved for their sake? What would it be like to know when you were dying? To die without regrets? Does anyone REALLY die without regrets?

If I died now, would I die without regrets? Yeah, I'm 18, not the time to be thinking about that, but really, would I? No, I don't think I would. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I have awesome friends who love me, a supportive family, go to an amazing school, have all kinds of fun things going on, go to cool churches, and have a great future ahead of me. I know God has everything under control. But, if I knew I was to die now, I would feel unresolved. Why? That dumb boy who won't give me the closure I want.

I just heard the song "Forever and Always" by Taylor Swift. I remember when he bought me m&ms for Valentines Day that said our names and "forever and always". I also remember pouring them in a bowl and hurting my hand when I smashed them. Funny how five months after "forever and always" he was with someone else. How does that work? How do you go from "I wish I could marry you next summer" in May to "I like her more than you right now" in July? This doesn't work in my head.

He texted me again today. It was stupid, pointless, just something about the dentist. He just REALLY just wants my attention. But he doesn't love me. You don't treat someone you love or even remotely care about like he's treated me. This has been one of the hardest things for me to come to grips with these last few months. I was so sure...he loved me more than anything...I was going to keep him...so many things....then, all of the sudden, he doesn't love me anymore. uumm...what??? Repeat that for me? For two years..."I wanna marry you...I want four kids, and I want them all to look like you...I wanna grow old with you...I can't wait to support you.." everyone KNEW we would last.

Then, in July, "What did you want me to do? Stay with you when I didn't have feelings for you anymore?"

Excuse me?

And now, he's remembering us, missing us, and wanting to keep me on the side so when things fall through with HER, he can crawl back to me, even though he doesn't really love me. No sir. I'm through. You had that chance months ago. You had it THREE times. It's been six months since this mess started, since you started putting my heart to the cheese grater, and I won't take it anymore.

So, the question is, what do I do now? How do I protect my heart? Something I need to pray about...

I almost ran over three bunnies tonight.

Verse of the day: Psalm 34:3.
Question: Does delivering you from all your fears mean taking them away, or making you courageous enough that they are no longer fears? I think the second one applies a lot...

Song of the day: What a Wonderful World (the version with the ukelele..cuz I like those)

Word of, um, a while: busyyyy. Yeah, it requires the extra y's, cuz it was wayyyy busy.

Friday: Rejoice's birthday party was super. I like dance parties and karaoke machines and tiny umbrellas and candy and pizza. I should have a birthday party for myself everyday! But the best part of the night was when Rejoice, Abby, Joel, Jordan, and I all cuddled in a bed and watched TV. Mass cuddling is super. Unfortunately, the rest of the night I dreamed that Jordan was chasing me, trying to get me to cuddle with him. Not that Jordan isn't fun to cuddle or anything...but....ok anyway....

Satuday: Cold pizza for breakfast. Laundrey day. Family trip to the mall! Unexpectedly running into Greasy's mother and sister-in-law 0.0 Talk about adrenaline rush...I don't even know half the stuff they said. I like Chick-fil-a and Bath and Body Works a lot.

Sarah sleepovers are super! Sketchy Mexican friends in arcades at midnight--not so much. But she, Rachel, and I were amazing at belting out "Whatcha Say" to the jukebox with pool sticks. I think I ate, like, seven oatmeal cookies. Sarah is very indecisive about a name for their new poodle puppy. I really like cheese dip. We creep old Ukrainian acquaintances on facebook. And tatt shopping=love it! But not for me...

Sunday: Women's Sunday School for the first time! I feel old....Greasy showed up again, but at least this time I was expecting it. I did think it was funny how he was making sure to stay in my line of vision, but it was very nice to have a group of protective friends there with me :) And dad kept poking me during the sermon about respecting your parents...I don't get why...we took a lot of pictures in the chilly mountains that afternoon. I was slightly upset by the sight of Greasy's car at his girlfriend's house, but my super-cool brother and bff helped me forget. Unfortunately, they can't make me forget forever, and I fear that I spend too many home-nights looking through old pictures of my ex-best friend....

Today: Homework hardcore. Turned in two papers, started The Crucible, and typed up half of my TIPS notes. I still have bunches tomorrow >_< Dumb professors....well, they aren't dumb because they ARE professors, but...yeah...anyway....

I think it's cute when my dad talks about his hobbies.

I really like home food, a lot. I would be really fat if I still lived here.

My dog has this sick-nasty zit-growth thing that's oozing blood and junk on her shoulder. But I don't think she'll die.

There's cat hair all over my stuff.

I've heard "Whatcha Say" so many times this weekend it's ridiculous.

Sarah suggested getting "Team Laura" shirts for me and all my friends, which I think is super. I think they should have a picture of Greasy's face on the back with a big X through it. But maybe then it would be too obvious...

Quotable thought of the day: True love doesn't fade, but it can be killed.

I really like being at home.

Song of the day: So Sick (Ne-Yo)

Word of the last two days: dark. No, I am not emo. But it has been ridiculously foggy and four hours of yesterday I was "blind".

Fog makes me moody.

Being blind yesterday was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. Number one emotion: fear. I had to constantly trust that Molly or Laura would take care of me when they were walking me around campus. But taking a shower blind is ridiculous. And any time that they weren't around, someone could easily come up to me and do something. There were times when I knew someone was standing in front of me (like my evil roommate), but I had no idea who they were or what they were planning to do and I had no way to defend myself. And, I ate half my food at lunch with my hands becuase I got tired of coming up with an empty fork.

Less than five minutes after I took the blindfold off, I found out I got a C on my Doctrine Midterm. >_<

My counselor says that I have much improved over the last couple months and gotten stronger. That was very encouraging.

Don't intentionally try to have a Bible study in the great hall with only an Ipod touch as the Bible. I didn't understand half of the scripture that was read because I couldn't hear it and was somewhat distracted by a cute boy at the sandwich bar. Darn it, attractive males!

So there are times when I'm really good at doing homework and there are times when I'm not. Yesterday was one of those times when I'm not. The only reason I finished a rough draft and began another was because I spent five hours working on them! The day before, I finished a whole paper in two hours. Darn youtube and facebook and Beyonce! Darn you to heck!

That, and sometimes I get into a really crazy mood and go all ADHD.

This morning, I enjoyed waking up. How strange. I worked on a paper first thing. How strange. I ate cookie crisp for breakfast. How wonderful.

I'm reading New Moon again and my roommate needs to quit making fun of me.

Greasy sightings today: one. I am just very surprised that he hasn't tried to contact me anymore after asking me to dinner two days ago, and it's annoying constantly being on my toes in case he does. It's also annoying having an adrenaline rush every time I see someone in gym clothes, a gangster hat, or a backpack. Why does he have to be here??

Scripture of the day: Psalm 34:1

Another thought that came to mind today: Why did I fall in love with him? I have had so many people ask me this question, and now I'm having a hard time answering it for myself. I don't even really remember what it felt like to love him. All I remember is that it made me feel safe, secure, and wanted. He was the one person I felt like I could trust most in the world. But, looking back at it, it seems absolutely absurd. I enjoy my life so much now, constantly being around people who like me and appreciate me and whom I can trust, that it seems silly how much I depended on that boy who I really didn't have that much in common with. And now, he the one person in the world that can make me angry just by entering my thoughts. I'm honestly wondering how long it's going to take his girlfriend to figure out that he's been going behind her back for months, trying to get me to still have feelings for him so that he can run back to me when things don't work out between them.

On a lighter note, during TIPS class I thought about how pleasant it would be to have my own puppy.

Song of the day: Whatcha Say

Word of the day: racist. I'm not one, but TIPS class sometimes makes me feel like one.

I could've straightened my hair today, but I did it curly because I thought it would rain. This was upsetting.

I woke up earlier than I needed to. I hate that.

I really, really like my math buddies. They're just way funny. And way dorks. But that's what makes them funny. And I had a delicious BLT.

I hate homework. I enjoy distracting myself with music and dance. Or just facebook. Or texting. Or other stuff.

Greasy sightings: 0. Greasy occurrences: 1. He used skype chat to ask me if I wanted to eat dinner with him in the Great Hall. Fortunately, I didn't find it until he got offline, but I was very, very confused. And angry.

Moral of the story: never date a greaseball.

I finished a whole three-page paper in two hours. It was very satisfying.

I hate it when people whistle, and I think they are whistling at me, but then I find out it's really at someone else. I get really hopeful for like two seconds, and then I'm really disappointed. Who knows, maybe they ARE all whistling at me.

I have to go blind for the entire first half of the day tomorrow. This will be interesting.

Lisa has taught me to like Swedish Fish. She has done this by throwing them at me. All the time.

I eat too much.

I just want to stay distracted all the time.

Fall Break is too far away. And too short.

I want it to be Thanksgiving.

Song of the day: Get Out (Leave)
[dear mr. greasy: please do.]

Word of the day: Monday. For that's what today was, and it was a grumpy Monday.
2nd word of the day: Akimbo. Because I like that word.

Another one of my kindergartners told me that I had a lot of freckles. YES I'm breaking out, and they aren't freckles, they are zits. Drew stared at me today while he picked his nose and ate his booger. Sadly enough, I rember the days when I used to do this. At least I didn't smear my boogers on the wall, like Audrey did. I remember making her clean them off.......ANYWAY...... Cade laughed when he realized that one of his classmates didn't understand the value of zero. I raised my eyebrows at him, when really, I thought it was hilarious too. Rebecca counted all the way up through 22 before she realized that she couldn't find zero. FAIL. No, not really, that's mean...

Wind is bad for umbrellas.

Greasy sightings today: 2. Boo. At least this time, I didn't shake much.

Dr. Stewart is an interesting man. He makes himself sound really theological by using big words, but the sentence structure is all screwed up. And his eyebrows distract me. And texting Molly when she's sitting right next to me distracts me. But keep that a secret, or he'll get onto me. Maybe not, because he liked my captivating presentation a couple weeks ago about taking the Lord's name in vain. But that's only because the first paragraph included the beginning line of "I Like Big Butts".

Acting class was way heavy. We had to act out scenes that were very close to deep emotional experiences that we had gone through personally so that we could draw from our emotions. Oh man. It was painful. I sort-of relived the very beginning of the break-up incidents, as well as the first few moments that I found out Greasy was with Liz. It was way to close to home, and I was still shaking for a little while afterwards. I think my classmates were scared by my performance. I was surprised by how easily I could still tap into that emotion. When I really concentrate on those moments, I can almost fully remember every ounce of pain--that's how strong they are.

Thanks, Greasy.

Scripture of the day: Proverbs 4:23

I paid attention to a whole CHOW class!

I had to pee three times through my night class. It was slightly embarrassing, but a glass or orange juice and two cups of coffee will do that to ya. I discovered, too, that simple children's drawings of a house, person, and tree, can say a lot about how they feel. Like if a stick figure's arms are AKIMBO. I don't remember what it signifies, but it means something. And that runaways draw people with no feet. During class, I drew Lisa a picture of her yelling at Alyssa for jumping on her bed. Alyssa's head was stuck in the ceiling and she was cussing a Lisa. And I only used five colors.

It is COLD in here. Lisa and I were passing Mac, and we were discussing how much I loved shorts and the fact that I can't wear them anymore. Then some guy yelled at us out his window. "SHUT! UP!" I don't know who it was, or I might've thrown my mug at him. As we walked away, I yelled back. "Stick that in your juice box and suck it!" But I was laughing, so it wasn't necessarily intelligible.

Song of the day: I'm Already Gone.
Dumb depressing acting class and fog and afternoon.

Word of the day: CRAZY.
Well, that was half the day.

I love having Sunday School with adorable old ladies. I really want all of them to adopt me so I can go to their houses and eat cookies. The more grandparents the merrier.

Thankfully, church this morning was really great, as the preaching was awesome and a certain boy wasn't there to distract me from the service.

Scripture of the day: 1 Corinthians 12:9-10

I'm finding that I a much hardcore studier than I thought when I get into focus mode. All afternoon at Rembrant's, Lisa and Alyssa were being ridiculous, playing hangman and listening to music, and I finished a paper and a sort-of paper and started on another paper. I'm rull hardcore.

Today was gorgeous. So much so that I wore a skirt ALL DAY.

Red convertibles are amazing. Especially when they are owned by single women. I get to dance around and sing at the top of my lungs rather than sit in the passenger seat, holding another hand. It's way cooler. Mustangs are sweeter than Sebrings anyway.

Leering Mexicans are scary. I don't know what they were saying out of their window, but I don't think I want to.

MOES HAS UNLIMITED CHIPS. And a college night! And 54 cent cookies! OH MY! I'm sucha fatty!

The Hangover. Um. I'm done.

Lisa was acting like an immature fourteen-year-old boy tonight. She even bought a two-pound bag of Swedish Fish and threw them at me.

I think I lost my voice on the way back up the mountain. That's how intense our screaming, dancing session was. Or maybe just mine, as I was doing much of the screaming. Yes, "adults" still get hyper.

On a more serious note,

There was a lady in the Target parking lot passing out Buddhist tracts. Well, more like business cards. My response to her is what bothered me. See, rather than declining the card and telling her I was a Christian, I took it and said "Thank you". That could have been such a good opportunity, but I skipped it. I wish I hadn't. I was even wearing a cross necklace. I don't know how many other chances she'll get to hear the real message.

Song of the day: Single Ladies

Word of the weekend, or pretty much this whole last week and next week: tiredsick. I just made that word up, because I think those words kind of go together.

I have had far too much information going through my head these last few days. And there will be more next week. Oh my.

My field experience for TIPS was somewhat depressing. I really enjoyed being around all the kids, but the teacher told us some of the background stories, and they were awful. For example, one 10 year old boy was expelled last year. He had lived with his stepmother, and her boyfriend had been molesting him. Therefore, the court moved him into his real mother's house, where he molested his younger stepsisters. So he was moved back to his stepmother's house. Geez.

I straightened my hair on Thursday, and Dave though I had cut it. Every time I straighten it, someone asks that. I think it's weird, because, actually, if my hair is straightened, it means that it's gotten longer.

There's a boy in my kindergarten class who is HI-larious. His name is Cade, and he has a sense of humor that is more on my level. He laughs at my little sarcastic jokes! That, and he's just really cute. If he were nineteen, I would date him. Is that creepy? I promise I'm not a pedophile...

Unless you count Matt Trask, who "enjoys making me a pedophile". Creepy fifteen-year-old boy...

My suitemate Kait is singing "Angel of Music" in the shower. BAHAHAHA.

Jazz on the Overlook was way fun. I found that I have more friends than I originally thought, and I enjoy talking to people. Plus, Nicole brought her fine-looking man-friend from the Citadel with her....umm, yeah. Too bad I promised myself I wouldn't marry a military man.

Oh yeah. So my facebook got hacked on Friday. Can anyone guess who PROBABLY did it? I'm pretty sure it was a certain boy whose name begins with a "gr" and ends with an "easy". A boy that I haven't seen in three days, thank goodness. A boy that I am also starting to feel less connection to, which helps a lot.

I'm glad I still dress well.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle is a long, strange play. One that I watched today and have to write a critique on for Wednesday.

Monday: A sort-of paper due for CHOW, an Acting exercise, and a quiz and response paper (1-2 pages) due for Teaching Special Children.
Tuesday: Another sort-of paper.
Wednesday: TIPS project and Caucasion Chalk Circle critique (3-4 pages).
Thursday: TIPS essay (five pages) and Field Placement Paper (5 pages).
Friday: Acting Performance Project (basically the midterm).

Oh my dear goodness gracious.

This is why my mother gets onto me for procrastination. I'm not looking forward to ANY of this.

Ghengis Grill is delicious. Sarah and I went tonight. Unfortunately afterwards The Proposal was sold out, so we went to the mall instead, where we ate cookie cake and cried over puppies in the pet store. And she made fun of me for my obssession with New Moon, which hurt me greatly. She also made me really want to buy a pair of boots.

Naps are really great, especially if you actually sleep during them. Benadryl is great too.

Song of the day: Hey Soul Sister. Morgan suggested this song and I like it lots.

Word of the day: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Second word of the day: Jimjam

The pre-fall-break stress has begun. I just realized that I have five papers, one field placement, one project, and two smaller papers, along with other smaller assignments, that shall all occur within the next NINE days. Oh my.

Last night, Molly and I were up from 10-2:30 am working on making flash cards for our Doctrine test today. Things got real ridiculous after midnight. We used the acronym "Wally pulled his jimjam, gosh tootin!" to remember God's wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth. We definitely coined "jimjam", and now Molly keeps repeating it to make giggle my pants off. But maybe that's only becuase we got FIVE HOURS of sleep last night.

I woke up this morning, and I thought my throat was gonna choke itself. I'm gettin the stress-sick.

I have far too many scripture references floating around in my head now, and I don't know what all of them are for. On top of that, the test didn't address even a third of what we studied and brought in some stuff that wasn't on the guide! What's wrong with you, Dr. Stewart?? Dr. Clark was real nice though. He let me borrow his Bible, and he didn't even know me.

Acting class: I pretended to be a girl that everyone had thought lost her virginity, but really didn't. In the end, I yelled, "NOTHING HAPPENED, OK? I'M STILL A VIRGIN!" Yeah, ruuull awkward.

The one day I want to talk in CHOW class, it lets out early. And the one day in chapel that the speaker gives a sermon on why cremation is ungodly, I miss it to study for a DOCTRINE test. Ironic.

Greasy sightings today: 1. At least this time he was wearing a different hat, sadly enough, ANOTHER one I was there for when he bought it.

And now I'm at the Yellow Deli. Earlier, there were some sketch guys from UTC having a weird conversation I couldn't really follow. But, at different points, it included a nudist colony, playing the field, and how much they loved their church. Um.

The board of trustees walked by our room today while Disco Stick was playing on the radio. I'm glad our door was closed, it could've been very interesting.

Lisa was grumpy today. And it made me frowny face :(

Facial expression of the day: wide eyes, gaping, somewhat lopsided mouth. Basically, Molly's face.

I want to go to sleep until Saturday. Can I do this please?

I haven't talked to my mother in three days.

Poem of the day (not song): Jabberwocky. Cuz I felt that ridiculous today.

Word of the day: fog. It's Lisa's new cuss word. It might be mine soon too.

What is it about weather that just changes your mood? And your hair?

Have I mentioned how much I love children?

And how my room is the hall hangout spot? There are currently five people in my room. That's three more than live here. Kait is playing with herpes. Molly is showing off her new schweet foot tat. Alyssa proposed that I should get new piercings with her, and possibly a tramp stamp.

I would find this very interesting.

Today, in acting class, we were assigned to prep a scene in which we carried and disposed of a dog, snake, or person. When prepping the exercise, I thought we were allowed to carry anything, so I prepped scenes with objects that were not those. I get to acting, and I'm like....crap. So, in my head, I came up with a scene about a puppy. I actually did a good job for last minute and not telling the professor I wasn't ready. The only problem--it was supposed to be a dead dog. Fail. I didn't kill the invisible puppy, I just put it back in the invisible box. At least I didn't carry an invisible dead St. Bernard like Benton did.

Greasy sightings today: 2. And they were both terribly obvious.

I freaked today because, at 1:00, I remembered that I had a CHOW paper due this week, and it might've been today. I had this huge adrenaline rush, but all for nothing. It's due Wednesday. But that got me thinking about the MASSIVE amount of homework I have due in the next two weeks. That's why I watched the hour-long Ryan Reynolds episode of SNL with Alyssa tonight.

I want to go to sleep. I want to spend a whole day watching movies. I want to go swimming. I want to see Jordan. I want a hug. I want a snuggie. I want crunchy peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie dough. I want to go to Dollywood. I want it to be Christmas. I want to fly. I want the sun to be out every day.

I need to do laundry tomorrow.

Song of the day: Eggshells. Because I wish this song was being sung to me. And I wish that everyone would fix the things they break.

Word of the weekend: fatty.

I feel that I may use this word a lot.

I went to Atlanta this weekend to see my cousin Grace at Georgia Tech and it was super fun. Of course, parts of it were slightly sketch (like the city at nighttime) but I had my mondo pepper spray to protect me--no fear!

I realized just how very not-left-brained I am. I like children and play-dough. This college likes science and numbers. However, the architect students do make models that look like doll houses :) I wanted to make little people to put in them. Grace made fun of me. But they do have a bowling alley there, and it was pretty much my fav part of the whole campus.

I ate so much fried food on Saturday. Lunch at Five Guys and dinner at Varsity. Burger, fries, slaw dog, and [AMAAAAAAAAZZZINNNGGG] onion rings.

I got to hold a barometer for the first time.

While walking around Helen, I felt like a cheap German. I almost wanted to drink beer, but then didn't. They have a live tarantula (just leave the spelling...) museum there. Not that that has anything to do with beer. There was also a really creepy novel writer having a book signing there. And he made me think about how so many writers spend their time writing about life rather than experiencing it. They often write about things they themselves have never done, which makes the writing hollow. This guy looked like he NEVER got out, and all I could think was, "how sad"....

Grace and I had a dance party in her room, and it was real fun. I've never had a dance party with her :)

Her prius' name is Odonkor after the German soccer player. It took me forever to learn it. Odeker. Oberdink. Odinker. Odelade.Odelaberdinkerdonkador.

They make maple cookies in Canada!

Greasy occurences: 0 all weekend. Let's keep it that way, and maybe I can really start to move on with my life.

Song of the weekend: Hotel Room Service...just because I danced to it with Grace.
2nd song of the weekend: Knock You Down

Word of the day: ukelele. Or at least, I would love to be able to play one.

I would say I woke up in the middle of the bed rather than the wrong side. Of course, in reality, my dorm bed is rather small, so I would say more that I woke up on the whole bed. Except the end, cuz I don't stretch that far.

I really, really like my kindergarten class. Caroline to the teacher: "I TOTALLY love your necklace! It goes with your whole clothes!" Last week, Drew kept trying to get my attention, and at one point had me help him cut out his ice cream scoop "cuz he couldn't do it". Today, he winked at me (it was like a ten-second wink...real funny). Later, I watched him cut out his own ice cream scoop with no trouble. He's in love with me :) After reading time, they gave me cookies and we played with Construx for recess. Oh man.

I don't know why EVERYONE doesn't want to be a teacher.

So acting class makes me nervous, but today was super fun. If a broken disco ball was a person, it would be a distressed teenage partier girl. And I acted that out. I had to do it twice, becuase the first time everyone thought I was just being bipolar.

And we played this super-fun game, where we all got into a circle and tossed a ball around. It went from a baseball, to a basketball, and eventually to a cat and a baby. Then, we all had to pretend to be soldiers, supermodels, barking dogs, etc. It was RIDICULOUS. I really just wanna tape that class and make it into a movie. Everyone would buy it.

But maybe that would just be because I was in it.

:D

I'm going to visit Grace for the weekend, and it's gonna be AWESOME.

Song of the Day: Trouble (by Never Shout Never)

Word of the day: frustrated

I really hate it when you want something to happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. And the one person who CAN do something about it makes you so mad you just wanna go human-nunchucks.

And that's pretty scary, believe me.

I found out today that dance parties induce endorphins. No wonder I love them so much.

Class quote of the day: "Go bang some drums and assert your masculinity!" In TIPS, we were talking about how in the 1800's, scientists claimed that co-education would emasculate boys and cause girls to become infertile. She was telling the two boys in the classroom to be manly.

Racism is ridick-cheney.

Acting assignment: observe an inanimate object, write down all its qualities, and create a character based on those qualities. Then make up a scene that best shows these qualities. I feel like, if I were an inanimate object, I would be Lisa's pack of sprinkles.

Stone Cup is open again, and it makes me so happy. Alyssa, Lisa, and I ditched Molly there to go walk around Coolidge at night. Lisa smelled marijuana for the first time. I feel like people smoke it a lot there. Gross. And we found this ridiculous game there that involved walking in a spiral.

Molly won't let us say "SCOTT MCKEON!!!" while there are previewers on the hall. Therefore, we're saying "RYAN REYNOLDS" until they all leave. Especially since Scott's sister is staying on the hall. Lol.

Greasy sightings today: 1

Gosh, I wish that he would just straighten up and be genuine for once. And I'm tired of waiting for everything to catch up to him, because for now, he's getting away with every little lie he's told. Last night, though, I had a really good God-session. Just me going, ok God, I can't do anything about this, please change it or help me accept it. This has been going on for six months now, I wanna be done. I'm not really sure what that's gonna take.

Song of the day: Girlfriend (This isn't MY song, but it certainly relates...)