So I'm home. Not just to do laundry or eat dinner before heading back to my cabin for a snugglefest or running out with my crazy friends for a midnight escapade, but to sleep and stay like I'm supposed to. It's lonely. On top of that, I'm purposefully listening to sad music, going through pictures, and refusing to fix the fact that I'm sleep deprived in order to ride this end-of-the-summer emotional tidal wave. Wah wah wah.
God did things this summer that I was told to expect but didn't necessarily think would happen.
First and foremost He's made Himself huge and real to me in a way that I've never experienced before. I learned how to present not only my circumstances, but most importantly my attitudes in order to learn what He was teaching me through the circumstances that I used to only pray would go away. He became my fulfillment more than ever before--something I've caught snatches of in the past but never rested in. I saw this especially at the end (that means...this week), when He blatantly told me no to something I really wanted and it took less than two days for me to stop wrestling with Him over it. That's Him giving me His mind, just like I'm learning to ask Him to.
Second, He gave me deep relationships with people who want only to follow Him and push me to do the same. People who I will not only miss, but will write letters to and drive several hours to visit. People who I WILL see in heaven. My cabinmates blessed me in a deep way as we learned to love and snuggle with each other for ten weeks. My small group surprised me with random words of wisdom and encouragement. God even allowed me to make friends with boys who showed me love and grace in a brotherly way that most will not--something I specifically asked for.
There's nothing like walking outside and seeing/yelling at friends out on their porches. Or coming into a cabin where three girls are stacked upon one another on the couch. Or absolutely rejoicing in free, cheesy Pigeon Forge experiences. Or worshiping loudly and openly while holding hands with friends on either side of you. Or realizing that Jesus loves you more than anyone else ever will and that He's showing you just a tiny glimmer of that love through a beautiful, blossoming community.
I was challenged and loved.
I am overjoyed to be holding onto Jesus by the hand while he He teaches me to trust Him one step at a time.
The cryfest will continue on and off over the next few days, but I'm so comforted by the fact that when it comes to people who love Jesus, it's never the end. This is the time when my growth will really be put to the test and I'm so thankful that He will never leave me, regardless of the changes He puts in my still-short life.
Seasons are beautiful, and this was a particularly breathtaking summer.
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