Word of the day: class schedule.

I think figuring out classes next semester is a ridiculous process. I just spent at least two hours trying to map things out, and even then I had to change stuff around when I saw what was actually being offered. Being an education major is daaaag nasty.

So there's this little girl in my kindergarten class, Caroline, who says "totally" all the time. Like, today, she was telling me, "I don't wanna do this. I'm totally tired!" and I'm like, "You're five! Tired is MY job! You can take a nap later!"

And I was really disoriented because there was a parent in the room. It was really awkward at first because I didn't know how much to let her do, but then she started talking to me, and apparently she had gone to covenant too, and there was all this cool stuff that we could talk about. And her daughter is precious. I take that back. ALL those children are precious.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a special snack today. And my teacher made me late for chapel.

Ok, so Lisa's watching Underworld, and I'm not watching, but I hear a lot of intense music and squishy bloody sounds. Yuck. And she's wearing a hat.

New Moon is still addictive the fourth time around.

None of my classes today were particularly interesting, and I find that really sad.

I missed my night class, too, which was not my fault. Laurel said it was optional, and I hope she's right, or I'm toast. Not really. That teacher's pretty cool.

They had REALLY sweet ice cream sundaes in in the great hall today!! HUZZAH!

I need to call Nathan back, but I don't want to. I don't want to do anything. Is that a problem?

Nap. That's what I want to do. And eat. All the time. Arrange this for me please. Can this be a class? Can I take it with Hallstrom? She's so intense about Acting class I'm sure she'd be intense about this....

Single men. There are a lot of them in the world. Very few are worth it. The ones that are, are very difficult to attain. This is why I'm going to marry Ryan Reynolds.

Christina needs to go ahead and teach me how to knit.

Today I did not look so good. The brown shirt made me look like there's more to love here than there should be. This is disconcerting. Disconcerting is one of my favorite words. I should use it more often.

Song of the day: Defying Gravity. I wanna fly on a broom too!

Word of the weekend: cousin. She was here allll weekend.

I'm real tired. Why is it that you catch up on one night's sleep and then lose it again the next night? I'm losin this game!

Performance project: success. TIPS paper: success. Laura: success. I dominate.

First drive-in movie experience was this Friday. Couples Retreat and Wild Things. The whole time, Grace was probably going "Uuuuuuuuuuumm...who are these people???" At least we didn't make a pile as was suggested. Then she mighta felt a little more awkward. Lisa's car battery died, which was flipping hilarious. We had to get it charged twice, because the second time it died in the middle of the road out in the boonies of northern Georgia. At midnight. At the beginning of Halloween. I was sure we were going to get raped by a bear.

A TIPS paper is not the first thing I want to do on a Saturday morning. But I did. I'm so responsible.

Note to self: the safety and security office is closed on Saturdays. Unfortunately, Covenant gives tickets for everything. Actually, everywhere gives tickets for everything. I have gotten three parking tickets in the last two weeks in three different places. And nobody warns you! What's up wit dat?

Cloudland Canyon is the most beautiful place ever. Well, maybe not ever, but it's really really pretty. And it has a million bajillion stairs. Going down-no problem. Going up-ouchie calves. It was so worth it. Grace and I took a buttload of pictures even though it was overcast. I like the woods a lot. I want to move into a treehouse. Now. But without any bugs. A de-bugged treehouse. Yes please. Grace wears flip-flops everywhere, and I kept telling her not to die because I thought she would slip in those ridiculous shoes! Geez!

Halloween=successful. I was a freaky-gypsy-fortune-teller-lady-thing. I had a slip on my head. We went out to eat in our costumes, and since Alyssa was a spy, every time we crossed the road, she darted across while spouting off the mission impossible theme song. We were the only people at our restaurant, and Kait wanted to eat everyone's pickle. The dance party was ridick-cheney. After about an hour, the windows in the dance room were dewed with human sweat. And every time the guys raised their arms in unison, I could smell--well, you know....But there were candy and soft drinks and it was delicious. And I stole some candy.

Hot Fuzz is a funny movie. It makes me want to be British.

The lady I met in Sunday School last week remembered me and Sarah! I was so happy! I want to adopt her! Speaking of adopting, our hall adopted the widow whose house we worked on last Saturday morning for Love Chattanooga. Her name is Miss Ruth, and her husband only died about a month ago. She was presh, and I want to see more of her.

I really, really like my church. New City is awesome.

I haven't done my devotion time for a few days now, and I'm feelin a little dry. Memorizing Psalm 34 was definitely a good idea.

I don't think I'm ever gonna finish this MTW application. It's rull big.

I had the strangest dream last night. There was a giant lady, and she was collecting small people to put in a hotel for her to keep until she decided what to do with us. I was collected, and I was really mad that she simply picked me up and took me without letting me pack more clothes. She put us all in a hotel and wouldn't let us leave. Thank goodness it was a nice hotel. But then I discovered that Liz had been captured too, and she was waiting on the lady to find Dusty too. I decided to be friendly to Liz instead of mean. She was wearing a Disney Princess outfit, crown and all. And she was pregnant, but there was no father. I saw a picture in her wallet. It was a picture that I had originally thought was of me and Dusty, but somehow she was squished in the middle and his arms were around her and I thought "Oh! He was cheating on me!" Then the big lady told us we could go for a swim, so Liz and I went to the pool, stripped down to our underwear, and jumped in. And I really wanted her crown.

I haven't watched Tuck Everlasting in a long time. Why do I like that movie so much? Oh yeah, because I would love to live in that house with that pretty boy in those woods. Forever. Woohoo!

Song of the day: You're Beautiful

Word of the day: pictures. I took a lot of them.

I should be in bed right now. I'm super tired.

School should be done now. I don't want to do any more papers, I don't know if I have the willpower to do anything else. Like for real. I was looking at all the work I have between now and Christmas, and it makes me just wanna jump off the veranda. Don't worry, I won't.

Yesterday I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:15. That's not an hour, but it's a nasty time to be awake. Why did I do this? Field placement at Siskin Institute. They have the most rock awesome playground EVER. And the kids were adorable. We observed a four year old blind girl named Britney, and she was precious and sad. She didn't speak, and I think she was autistic. And she shuffled around in circles a lot. But she had a real great halloween dress on.

Christina and I are study fails. We tried, and ended up eating chocolate. Thanks Christina.

Mac Movie Night = Friggin hilarious. Twilight parody, yeah, I wanted to pee my pants.

I was so disoriented last night it took nothing for me to go to sleep. I could barely speak coherently.

I didn't get as much homework done today as I wanted to, as usual. But I took a lot of great pictures. And talked to my Mimi. And found a new favorite song. And found my Halloween costume.

Camille J. Hallstrom is going to be the death of me. I'm super nervous about this performance project, and I can't even practice it well. I don't know if my scenes are even good! AAAAAHHH!!!

We went to Walmart, and I bought food and socks. Yay me.

Greasy's latest facebook pictures make him look like a creepy, obese blue creeper. You should go check 'em out. And he's trying to bring in the new fall trend--sweatpants! Too bad it means wasting the pair of jeans I bought him last Christmas--epic fashion fail!

Why did I spend over $200 on him last Christmas? WHY???

Lesson to all women: do not spend a lot of money on a male until he buys you an engagement ring. I could be buying more boxes of cereal, but no, I had to spend them on ninja turtle slippers for him. Eww.

But, two days ago he joined my fanpage on facebook. Yes, my creepy ex is my fan. Why is this soo hilarious?

Song of the day: Replay.

Dear Blog,
I am sorry I have left you so lonely. I know you've missed me. But I love you, I hope you always know this.
Signed,
Laura

Word of the day: Pumkin Muffies. Also known as a food I would like to eat all the time.

Yesterday, my kindergartners gave me two Christmas rice krispie treats because it was Gardner's birthday (yeah, that's a real kid's name). Then my Teaching Exceptional Children prof gave me a bag of candy. Then Lisa and Alyssa and I had a pumpkin muffie party, and had at least ten of the little suckers each. I am convinced that everyone everywhere just really wants me to get fat.

The ladies in my Sunday School class are ridiculously precious. The one sitting next to me (I believe her name was Jane) just whispered back and forth with me about things she had written in her book, which she shared with me. And another one of the ladies was joking about her 80th birthday coming back. Last time I was there, she said (as she slumped down in her chair and got-wide eyed), "Oh my gosh. I'm going to be eighty in two weeks!" Umm, yeah. I want them to adopt me so I can go to their precious houses and bake cookies with them.

I got to be a mermaid on Saturday! My aunt and two little cousins, Jenny and Rachel, came to Chatty for a visit and we went to the aquarium. I've been like four times in the last year, but going with them was my favorite. They were excited about so many things, and I got to make them laugh. And, during the last part--the sea cave--we pretended we were mermaids. YES. And, right before that, while Rachel and I waited for her mom and Jenny to go to the bathroom, we went into the jellyfish room and pretended to be jellyfish. Awkwardly enough, however, all the turtles seemed to be getting frisky with one another....

So, I've really been getting into Psalm 34 lately. I tried to memorize it over the summer, but kids are very distracting, so I'm trying again now. It's reminding me of the importance of PERSISTENCE in prayer, and learning to lean on God--He's got it. He's big enough, he knows what He's doing. And I need to chill out, because in the long run, His will will be accomplished. And that's really cool. So far, I'm on verse 9.

Here I am inserting Molly, cuz she just asked if I was blogging about her. I AM NOW! You are sucking a lollipop and listening to piano music and putting up pictures on facebook. You're a dork!

Sunday was gorgeous, so I just had to go to the woods. And it was ooooober pretty! I think half of the students in Founders thought so too, because the woods were way too crowded. I ended up going off the trail just so I could feel alone. I took my Bible, journal, and internship application. Oh yeah, and my camera. I was super stoked about taking pictures. I think I'm turning into my dad.

I really, really want to be a missionary. I mean, my desire just gets bigger and bigger. I'm super stoked about this internship, and I really hope that's God's will for me this summer. I don't really know how teaching would fit into a future career in missions, though. I don't want to teach as a missionary kids school, because I feel like it's too exclusive. But I don't want to teach English at a university either. Soooo....we'll see. I got a couple years. And maybe a husband to figure that out with later. Maybe. We'll see. But not for now. I like being single too much :)

I slept a lot today. And that made me so happy.

So...Greasy is a creeper. I was sitting with my friends today in lunch, and he went all the way around the front of our booth and sat at an empty table right next to us so that he was directly in my line of vision and could hear everything we were saying. It was only SLIGHTLY obvious he wanted my attention. But I'm getting really good at not letting it bother me so much...and, I'm not the one failing my classes >:)

My grandmother sent me a shirt and popcorn today. The shirt is interesting, but I will for sure be using the popcooorn!

Our hall had a Star Wars party on Sunday night. A lot of nerds live on my hall. And I love it.

Actually, I just have a lot of really good friends here. And I love my school. Except for the ridiculous amount of homework all the time.

Grace is coming on Friday!

Song of the day: Sonata for Violin and Piano No. 10 in G major (The Cock Crow) by Beethoven. In other words, the song that Molly has playing on Pandora right now.

Word of the day: curly. That's what my hair looked like.

Today, my kindergartners put up a fit about paper ice cream scoops. When they got twenty for reading, they were given a "ceremony" and got a coupon for free Clumpie's ice cream. Well, three students hit twenty today and they were super excited. Therefore, the rest of the children in the classroom forced me to count and recount their scoops, and, when they finally accepted the fact that they didn't have twenty, went back to their seats and moped. And it was Rebecca's birthday, so we got Halloween mini-cupcakes :)

I've been ridiculously tired all day. And I don't get a break tomorrow either.

The only reason I go to Doctrine anymore is because of Molly Wilkes. We write notes to each other, draw pictures to each other, and text each other. And she sits next to me. I love it. Today, we learned about Neandertals...aka NeanderTALLS.

Acting is the strangest class ever. In the history of ever. We did relaxation exercises today and had to massage each other. Highlight of the afternoon: we were lying on the stage, and Hallstrom told us to start speaking lines at the ceiling--any lines. I started reciting Jabberwocky, and soon I heard two or three other people were reciting it too. Jacob was in unison with me. Um, I love that poem.

I like peanut butter spoons.

I love Glee.

HOEDOWN. AWESOME. I would have a hoedown every day of my life if I could. Ok, maybe not everyday, but a lot more than I do, which is pretty much never. It was First Friends, a thing to get us plugged in with internationals, mostly UTC students. And I met lots of cool people. I talked to a lady from Taiwan about wanting to go into missions, and how she became a Christian only four years ago after coming to the states. Her husband hasn't yet, though, but he comes to church with her and was there tonight. And there was a GORGEO---well, we won't go into that, he was taken anyway...but I danced with---well, he was taken too....but I still had a ridiculous amount of fun....

And, to top it all off, I did not have a single Greasy encounter today! On the flip side, however, is that I am always on my toes, because anything that happens always happens when I let my guard down and then I get all ruffled again. I've been frustrated for the last two days...I just wanna let a nalgene fly on his head...

Verse of the day: Psalm 34:4

Song of the day: Cotton-Eyed Joe. And the Hoedown Throwdown.

There is no word of the day today.

I did not set an alarm this morning.

My cat brought a live bird into the house and my mother screamed like she was about to die.

I am a terrible packer.

I ate the last pumpkin mini muffin and was sad.

I hate only being able to listen to the radio in my car.

Dinner was confusing because no one was here, but delicious because there were chicken fingers.

We couldn't tell the difference between salad dressing and jelly. Ew.

I am more productive at home than I am here.

I put more disney princess pictures on my closet.

Everyone got back and gave me bad-for-you food.

I decided to start going to young life.

I really want to go to a dance in a pretty dress like the twins and Nicole.

I wanna be in a musical.

I miss Morgan and my house.

Homework is dispicable.

Song of the day: Fatman Stomp. Or should I say fatwoman?

Word of the day: aww. Probably because I said it so much
2nd word of the day: hmm....

I always think more when I'm at home.

I walked all the way from the auto place to Books-a-million today without being hit by a car!

I read three acts of the Crucible, and it was quite disturbing. That was the first thing that got me thinking. Abigail Williams is the most manipulative and scary person I've ever read about. This play just makes you want to smack everyone in it. Sadly, it's way too close to true humanity.

I bought yarn and knitting needles today :)

I washed my dog for the first time in years. It was nasty gross. No, I didn't clean out the wound. She was just covered in nasty greasy dirt stuff. I don't know what it was and really don't want to.

I think I smelled everything in bath and body works today and tried half of it. My hands have felt funny since.

Where the Wild Things are is the most interesting movie I've seen in a while. I can't really classify it. Basically, it gave adult lessons through the eyes of a child in his imaginary world. Very interesting. There are so many undertones in there....but I'm not a movie critic, so I don't feel like critiqueing it...

Meet Joe Black....a movie that really did make me think. First thought: Brad Pitt....mmm....After that, I just thought about death. Yeah, real fun. I just wondered--what would it feel like to know that you were taking away people's lives when they still had so much potential? What would it be like to give up the person you loved for their sake? What would it be like to know when you were dying? To die without regrets? Does anyone REALLY die without regrets?

If I died now, would I die without regrets? Yeah, I'm 18, not the time to be thinking about that, but really, would I? No, I don't think I would. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I have awesome friends who love me, a supportive family, go to an amazing school, have all kinds of fun things going on, go to cool churches, and have a great future ahead of me. I know God has everything under control. But, if I knew I was to die now, I would feel unresolved. Why? That dumb boy who won't give me the closure I want.

I just heard the song "Forever and Always" by Taylor Swift. I remember when he bought me m&ms for Valentines Day that said our names and "forever and always". I also remember pouring them in a bowl and hurting my hand when I smashed them. Funny how five months after "forever and always" he was with someone else. How does that work? How do you go from "I wish I could marry you next summer" in May to "I like her more than you right now" in July? This doesn't work in my head.

He texted me again today. It was stupid, pointless, just something about the dentist. He just REALLY just wants my attention. But he doesn't love me. You don't treat someone you love or even remotely care about like he's treated me. This has been one of the hardest things for me to come to grips with these last few months. I was so sure...he loved me more than anything...I was going to keep him...so many things....then, all of the sudden, he doesn't love me anymore. uumm...what??? Repeat that for me? For two years..."I wanna marry you...I want four kids, and I want them all to look like you...I wanna grow old with you...I can't wait to support you.." everyone KNEW we would last.

Then, in July, "What did you want me to do? Stay with you when I didn't have feelings for you anymore?"

Excuse me?

And now, he's remembering us, missing us, and wanting to keep me on the side so when things fall through with HER, he can crawl back to me, even though he doesn't really love me. No sir. I'm through. You had that chance months ago. You had it THREE times. It's been six months since this mess started, since you started putting my heart to the cheese grater, and I won't take it anymore.

So, the question is, what do I do now? How do I protect my heart? Something I need to pray about...

I almost ran over three bunnies tonight.

Verse of the day: Psalm 34:3.
Question: Does delivering you from all your fears mean taking them away, or making you courageous enough that they are no longer fears? I think the second one applies a lot...

Song of the day: What a Wonderful World (the version with the ukelele..cuz I like those)