Winchester

Word of the day: free, single lady! Wait, I think that was more than one word...oops...

I spent the weekend at Jonanne's house and decided that I wanted to blog about it when I got back.

As soon as I walked in the house, Jenny (age five) announced that she wanted to show me something. I followed her upstairs and she forced me to do jumping jacks for two minutes. It seems to me that whenever five year olds say they want to show you something, it doesn't mean they actually want to, it means that they want your attention, no matter what. Ok. As soon as I was done, Rachel (age nine) burst into the room to show me the clay vase she made. There was constant "I wanna show you, I wanna show, I wanna show you!"

Alright. Then I was dragged downstairs to watch Barbie and the Mermaid Tail. Barbie movies make me lose all hope I have in the future of little girls. Every woman in that movie was teeny-tiny and bikini-clad.  My cookie belly was cringing.

As soon as Josh and Jonanne left for the evening, I suddenly felt like a mother. I prepared an entire dinner for both little girls, who were constantly demanding my attention. They stayed around the kitchen, drawing on the fridge, as I slaved over personal pizzas and played A*teens on the kitchen stereo. So imagine my disappointment when I placed dinner down in front of them, watched them take two bites and then declare that they weren't hungry.

Before I could drown my sorrows in my dinner, Jenny demanded that we play princess with her as queen. Twenty minutes later, we were all in dresses with flowers and jewelry. Enjoy:

Rachel

Jenny (with chocolate milk on the mouth)

The stunner.

We had a procession down the stairway and then had a princess dance party around the kitchen. Probably the best fifteen minutes of my life. The rest of the evening was spent making brownies and watching Enchanted.

Jenny is at the "let me do everything" stage. Soon she will be where Rachel is now, at the "i don't want to do anything" stage.

I spent the night snuggling with Rachel because she REALLY wanted to have a sleepover.

When we finally rose the next morning, I made Jenny a bowl of Lucky Charms and all she did was pick out the marshmallows >.< After helping Jonanne clean house, I went out to the field with the girls for a while where we were princess sisters. We fought off an evil lake monster and witches and made a crazy salad. 

I'm sorry, she's just oober cute.

Off to Hammer's store to see Gandaddy for a while! He is a darling man, but very difficult to converse with unless you know your sports. Lorianna, my other nine year old cousin, joined us. I haven't seen her in over a year....geez. And she had ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE silly bands on her arms!!

 When we got back, we flew kites. Well, tried at least. This kite got stuck in a tree.

Then a million deer came sprinting out of the woods! I only got a picture of the last one. I think he was lost.

Bye Mr. Deer!

Jonanne and I slaved over a Greek dinner that night and made some delicious things. I took a picture because I never want to forget them. Spinach and LOTS of feta.

MMMMMMMMMMM

Oh yeah, and Lorianna came back with us. Then Jonanne's other Laura-niece came over, so there were four little girls having a sleepover there. CRAZY.

That night = exhausted. So waking up for church the next morning was difficult. But Jonanne made cinnamon rolls--real ones--which made it all better. Here at college, we get these fake, rock-hard cinnamon rolls that aren't even worth eating. Just about everything Jonanne makes is very much worth eating. 

They go to a very small church, so I got introduced in front of the congregation, and such on and so forth. It was great. Extra attention is awesome in my book. 

Strangely enough, I also listened to country music all the way back to school, which is weird because I never listen to country music when I'm alone. It reminds me of my former, more redneck days.

End of the weekend. 

So, what's with my words of the day? Well, the original reason I went for the weekend was to escape Spring Formal because 1) it held a lot of memories of last year's Spring Formal, which was the last really good memory I had with Dusty and 2) because going as a single lady or even being at school thinking about it as a single lady would make me feel very....sad, I guess, because I would compare it to last year. I discovered that going to Winchester instead was a good idea. While I was there, I spent a lot of time helping Jonanne around the house and taking care of the girls. That made me realize something: I'm NOT ready to have my own house, my own husband, and my own kids. This period of my life--the young, single time where I can travel wherever I want and take care of only myself is not going to last for very long. If I had a husband, I wouldn't have been able to go and visit them like that, I wouldn't have been able to play games with the girls like I did, and so on. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't have even gone, I would've stayed for Spring Formal. 

It's still hard sometimes to tell myself that God's got it. He knows how long my life will be this way and whether or not I'll end up with a house and family. Because I do want one someday. My problem is that I can be a real control freak.  I think I've been husband-hunting since I was five years old, when I made a list of all the boys I knew that I could marry. Well, not hunting. But I've wanted one. Scary thing is, when I actually think about it, I don't want one just yet. I want one later. What I want now is to know who he is....but God doesn't operate that way. For a couple years, I felt very secure because I thought I knew who it was, and even though I'm glad that I was wrong, I now have that insecurity, which is now even worse than it was before I dated anyone. 

I also tend to focus on all the stories I've heard of women who never got a husband, and though I hate to admit it, that scares me to death. I hate even sleeping in a room alone...and I've decided that if I don't get a man, I'm moving to a country where I can run an orphanage and we can all sleep in a hut together. 

I need to shift my focus to now-and-not-then. God knows everything that's gonna happen and nothing I do will change it. Of course, that is easier said than done, especially when I hear about marriage three-and-fifty times a day at Covenant College.

Song of the day: Lollipop by Mika.