Today is THANKSGIVNG!

And yes, I should be with my family in the other room, but I kind of felt like doing this first.

And soon, I gotta go work at Black Friday at Bath & Body Works. It's gonna be INSANE.

Now, a few words on thankfulness.

What am I most thankful for today? I would have to say singlehood. Yes, I'm about to go on another spiel about how I love being single, but hear me out. This experience has been quite incredible.

I mean, it's not like I wasn't single for most of my life, I didn't have a boyfriend til I was sixteen. But I spent the last 3 birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, etc. having one, and I don't remember many of the holidays before that.

It really has been a journey. But, ever since we broke up, I feel like my eyes have been opened so much more to the beauty of everything around me. Suddenly, camp was amazing, and God was able to pour over me while I was there. I realized His goodness in my pain. I got to invest in the other counselors and kids because I didn't have to worry about giving my boyfriend a weekend of my time, making sure I talked to him every night, etc. I. ejoyed. my. time.

And then, when I was in Oregon, I was able to take in the beauty of it. Sure, nasty boy was trying to stir up trouble while I was there, but the pain he caused me was mirrored by the awesomeness of everything around me. See, we took a trip to Yellowstone back when I was 17, and I hardly remember anything except how miserable I was missing him. What a waste. This time, it was super cool, and it's a trip I'll never forget.

This school year has been amazing. I don't have to worry about going home every other weekend, or having to call him every night, or being cautious about the boys I hang out with, or worry about what he thinks of my friends....my hall is AWESOME and they are WAY cooler than any boyfriend! I can fully appreciate them too, simply because I can invest in them now!

I've gotten closer to my family. My sister was there for me when I was in pain, and now I feel like she's also a friend--not just a sister. I'm seeing that my family isn't going to be this way much longer, with both of my siblings at home and all of us being able to spend time together being silly. Today, when I was helping my mom in the kitchen, I wasn't thinking about my boyfriend coming over or having to eat dinner with his family. And after dinner was over, I didn't have to pine over him leaving. Last year, he made comments about how weird our music was (opera and classical music), and this year, Audrey and Daniel and I danced to it like heathens. I have not had to take a single moment from my family to give to him. I see my mom and dad and how much they are in love and think about the fact that I now have a chance at a marriage like that, not at one that would have been--well, years down the road--probably burned out and not full of love. And for now, I can pour so much more love and energy into them before we all grow up. I only get two more Thanksgivings like this before I graduate. Ouch.

Then, I've grown so much closer to my BFF Morgie. Greasy didn't like her because she was so perceptive, which should have been an automatic sign. She has been there for me every time I've needed her, and I can now give her more time. She's kind of like the boyfriend I visit at home lol. Tonight, we're gonna work together, and I get to spend all of tomorrow with her. In two years time, she will be married, and we won't have this anymore.

And then, I don't have to hide anything from my parents anymore. There's no more worry about how much I'm doing physically with a boy. Honestly, if we were still together at this point, I would probably be worried about getting pregnant. That's awful. For the last couple years, I pretended that we were this great, clean couple or if I admitted that we were crossing the line, I made it sound like we were trying to get better. We weren't. We said we were, but we weren't. A couple more weeks together, and I would have given him everything. Now I have the chance to start over, to give my little sister a good example, to be honest with my parents, and......get an actual surprise on my wedding night...one that would actually be pleasant...

I have the chance to get out of Sevier County. I have the chance to get amazing in-laws (or at least ones that graduated high school and went to college..and don't have adult children and their grandchildren still living with them in their double-wide). I have the opportunity to invest in a time of life that won't be here much longer. I have the freedom to choose a future I want. I have eyes to fully appreciate everything around me now. I can go to a foreign country this summer. I have the opportunity to cook cool foods and not be a fat redneck teacher with a fat redneck husband in twenty years. I have the chance to get a husband who loves everything I am. I have the chance to get cats when I grow up. I can pick different names for my future children, and I won't have to dress them in Tennessee orange. I don't have to worry about making sure that a picky boy is happy. I have a shot at a man who is smart!

God's timing is perfect. Never doubt it. He chose just the right time for everything to happen, and I don't regret spending three years of my life in that relationship because it taught me so much about what the REAL thing is. About what real faith is--not the Christian mask that he and his family wear. My life is changed for the better because of everything I went through, and even though I know it's not over, I'm pretty much at the other end of the tunnel.

So....happy Thanksgiving. I gotta get ready for work :)