Word of the day: dearth. I just learned this new word, and I want to use it frequently, but I am somewhat unsure of it's meaning. I think it means none, because it was used in the context of "a dearth of dads", when the kid really didn't have any.

I have a dearth of free time in the next two months. Did I use this correctly?

I'm getting close to the end of the scarf, making me pretty much a knitting machine.

I have had a dearth of workouts this week. But plenty of coffee, and soon my teeth will be stained like a Brit's.

Piano music is very relaxing. Sleeping in is too, and I've done that three times.

My mommy bought me a snuggie this week!! Unfortunately, I do not have it in my possession right now, meaning that I have a dearth of snuggies until Thanksgiving Break. Which is way too far away.

Homework due next week? I really don't want to think about it. Pretty much all of it is due Monday, except for two papers, though the draft of one of those is due Monday, so it's pretty much due Monday too. Ok, so only one paper isn't due Monday. I'm going to shoot myself.

I had to drag Sarah to get her nose pierced yesterday. It was so fun...I had to lock the car doors to keep her out of it, then kind of force her to go inside, then sit with her in the waiting room, then hold her hand as they stuck the needle through, and then reassure her every five minutes that her nose was not gushing blood. Oh my. Good times.

NEW MOON COMES OUT NEXT THURSDAY!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Facebook is an evil, terrible, wicked thing. There should be more of it.

Actually, this week has been kind of hard emotionally. It all started with that stupid Liz e-mail thing (which I never got--surprised? I'm not...just disappointed). Throughout the week, I realized how selfish and manipulative she really is through storiese from Sarah and what I saw at young life. She was never really feeling sorry for ripping someone's heart to pieces in the process of getting the boy she wanted--she just hated to think that someone didn't like her. She probably almost thought that I should be the one to apologize for disapproving of her romance story.

Young Life was killer this time. Last time, I came out fine. This time it all started wrong. Before we even got there, we passed them walking up, holding hands, and it just looked so wrong to me. When they got inside, people were excited to see him. All I could think was, "if only they knew..." Then Liz was obnoxious and rude to me for the first half, sometimes saying things to Sarah and standing in front of me like I wasn't even there. On the flip side, I was perfectly polite to her. And the entire service, she was one spot over from me. And Greasy was on the other side of the room, sitting by my stuff and getting a good view of me. I felt so exposed. And I realized that I was in the same room with the two people who hurt me the most in the world--and they didn't even care. I kept a really upbeat mask on the whole time, but cried all the way back up the mountain and for a little while after in the car.

The next day, Sarah finally figured out that he was spending the night there, sleeping with Liz in her bed. I knew he'd been staying over, but I thought he would at least have the decency to sleep on the couch. On facebook this morning, there were comments about her waking up happy. I wanted to punch my computer screen. It took me a while too, to figure out why I was upset, because, I mean, it's not like I want to sleep with him now or anything. But I suppose it's this--the two most selfish, hurtful, hypocritical people I know are getting the "happiness" that I used to want. She got exactly what she wanted, like she does all the time. And they spend every free moment together--which is more time than he used to give me. It makes me feel like I'm worth less than she is. Like I'm less lovable. Like I'm not worth it. It's so messed up. He used to come to my house to wake me up sometimes and sing "Good Morning, Beautiful". Once he woke me up with my promise ring. I used to dream about waking up to his face every morning.

Yuck. It's like none of that was even special, because he went ahead and used it on the next one.

Where's my husband when I need him? I have a dearth of husbands! I also wish that I had a dearth of greasy boys...unfortunately, this one still tries to do things to get my attention. Like creep me in the lunchroom this afternoon when he has no reason to be on campus.

I'm going to visit Jonanne and the girls this weekend, and it's gonna be great. And I'll be cut off from the internet, so I may actually get some homework done. Buuuut...maybe not. Lol. They have woods and turtles :)

Song of the day: How You Love Me Now (by Hello Monday). It's real great. Totally applied.